Content warning: domestic abuse
I want to tell you about how an abortion saved my life.
I work on the fundraising team and do regular phoner shifts on the ASN helpline. This is my abortion story.
I was 23. A bit lost, and sick of living hand-to-mouth in London, I’d moved with my boyfriend to his quiet coastal hometown, where I knew nobody. After the move, he became increasingly violent and controlling. I was young, trapped and isolated. And I was petrified when I realised I was pregnant.
I knew I couldn’t have the baby – it wouldn’t be safe for me, or a child. And I couldn’t be connected to him for life. He tried to force me to keep it and made me believe I wouldn’t be supported in my decision by friends or family. So I got the abortion alone, in secret. I didn’t tell anyone until years later. I told him I’d had a miscarriage.
The abortion was easy, free and local – I could walk to the clinic. I called BPAS and within a couple of days I had my first appointment, and a week later the surgical appointment was done.
I still believe my abortion saved my life. Being faced with that decision was a wakeup call about the situation I was in – and I managed to leave him not long after that.
My abortion gave me back control of my life. That’s why abortion access for all is so important to me. It’s why I care so much about what we do at ASN – and working on the helpline is always a stark reminder of how lucky I was.
If I had been living in a place where I was forced to travel abroad, instead of being in a clinic for a few hours, it wouldn’t have been possible.
That was the reality for Lina*, whose boyfriend’s control over her finances and isolation was stopping her accessing an abortion. That is the reality for Eva* whose partner destroyed her passport making it much harder for her to travel.
Both of them – and the many others who contact our helpline – need help from ASN’s mutual aid fund.
The only difference between Lina and me is that I lived somewhere with abortion access, and she didn’t. Being able to get her access to an abortion is a very powerful thing to be part of.
A decade on, I feel very angry when I think about that time. And I can’t help but feel that rage on behalf of the people we hear from, who are in the same situation.
I was able to access the abortion that freed me from abuse and saved my life. Some of you reading this might have had similar experiences. The people who contact us on the helpline deserve the same access.
That’s why we’re running our current fundraising appeal, and asking for your help with sharing it. We need to raise £10,000 by the 16th October so we can be a way out for people like Lina. People like me and you. It could be any of us.
Thanks so much for reading. If you can support our work in any way, it means a great deal to the people who need to travel – and to the team here at ASN.
*We’ve changed callers’ names to protect their identities, but their stories, and my story, are real.
This post was sent out to our mailing list in October 2026
